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~ scrawls from the edge ~

Grace seeks sanctuary

Tag Archives: poetry

Sometimes…

28 Saturday Oct 2017

Posted by Graceinspades in Narcissists suck

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Tags

Cruelty, grief, life, poetry

8.29.17

Sometimes

Daddys go on vacation and never ever come back.

You don’t get to say a real goodbye.

People lie about death.

People lie about life.

Silence is the worst form of cruelty.

People break and they can’t be put back together again.

People enjoy hurting and punishing you.

They inflict so much pain, it’s beyond unbearable.

And sometimes there’s not a fucking thing you can do about it. 

 

 

Listen to the Lady – Step Into The Nightmare

30 Sunday Apr 2017

Posted by Graceinspades in poetry

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

poetry, writing

Hush-a-bye baby, don’t look over there, listen to the lady, surrender your despair. No point letting life get, snagged on nasty thorns, curl up in your blanket, and dream of rosy dawns. Copy all the others, join our little tribe, safe under the covers, like the fairy tales describe. Don’t make yourself […]

via Listen to the Lady — Step Into The Nightmare

Tell me more about the Daisies…

27 Thursday Apr 2017

Posted by Graceinspades in Darlene Higgins, Fears, poetry, senseless cruelty, Sociopath Mother

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Tags

Cruelty, Daisies, narcissistic mother, poetry

daisies-006

Once upon a time several lifetimes ago, a college freshman took a poetry class from a kind professor lady who was a friend of her daddy’s.  At first, she struggled to write authentically and wrote manufactured cans of generic words.  With support and encouragement from the kind professor lady, she started to open up.  She started to remember her own feelings and thoughts rather than the ones she’d been trained to claim. At this young age, much of her expression was related to feeling unworthy and dreaming of a mother’s love.

Once her truth was unleashed, the professor took note of the words, the style, the raw truth of this girl’s expression flowing freely for the first time.  Professor lady entered a few pieces for submission into a poetry magazine, praising and encouraging this girl.This girl took those tiny tidbits of confidence and felt some pride and ability.  She collected her writing in a glossy navy blue college folder along with a few of her favorite poems from her classmates.

Soon, the girl’s mother came to visit.  She excitedly told mother of the published poems and the professor’s praise.  Choking down her fear, she shared her glossy navy blue collection with all its grief and torment, fear and love.  She saved her private heartfelt tribute to mother for last: a poem of raw and sincere desperation for mother’s love and approval intertwined with the depth of love and admiration she’d always felt for mother.

Mother read the tribute in silence as the girl waited breathlessly praying silent pleas.  After reading the tribute, she said, “That’s super cute…but tell me about this classmate of yours who wrote this poem about Daisies”.

“Daisies” was a sweet and playful poem about dancing in a field of daisies which the girl had really loved for its light and sunny nature full of hope and thoughts of joy.

Mother said, “I’m really worried about the author of that Daisies poem.  She sounds like a very sad girl who’s had some hard struggles in her life”.

In confusion and added desperation, the girl picked up the tribute to her mother and bravely, beggingly said, “Really? I was actually trying to express some of that myself,  in this poem.”

Mother smiled a slight sneer-grin that made light dance in her dark eyes and said, “That’s  a cute poem, but tell me more about these Daisies, that poor girl…”

Clutter

27 Thursday Apr 2017

Posted by Graceinspades in abandonment, Childless momma, Lexi and Savannah, Parental Alienation Syndrome, poetry

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Tags

grief, parental alienation, poetry, taste

lpw_21537841v499301_Astraea

Image by Andrew Lucas

Sip from the pain in my eyes

simultaneously sweet and hopeless

savor your creation

the bountiful blend of infinite misery

without remedy

sip the dark, cluttered flavors

beg its nuance

dance blithely on your tongue…

my heartache tastes of your untethered joy

my agony, your treasured dreams

my torment, your freedom

my desolation, your playground

frolic, delight, laugh, play,

live all the life they ripped from my labored breath

swirl my endless grief in your perfect rosebud mouth

swallow the efforts of my dreams

relish the zest of salty satisfaction

my pain your remedy

my unwanted battle

my death your life

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abuse Abuse by proxy adapting black sheep child abuse childhood children Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder confusion Cruelty Daddy Darlene Higgins death DENIAL depression despair desperation Domestic violence Domestic Violence by proxy dysfunctional family emotional abuse estranged evil family fear frustration generosity God gossip grief history hopes innocence invisible Lexi Lexi & Savannah Lies life loss love loveless manipulation Mark D. mean mothers memories Mother murder Narcissistic Abuse narcissistic mother narcissistic personality disorder narcissist mother narcissists nightmares nostalgia parental alienation parent issues poetry PTSD random notes rape sadness safety sexual abuse sister sociopath sociopaths suicidal suicide the ex trauma trust unacceptable unforgivable unforgiven writing

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