Questions for the day…
What good are psychic abilities unless you can know the things you want to know? For example, the winning lottery numbers would be useful to feed a lot of starving people, but I don’t know that. When my cat is hiding under my bed and wants to play with my feet…with his claws…right after I’ve put on my last pair of clean and matching stockings to go to work- that would be useful information to know. Or where my missing engagement ring is that I intended to give to my daughter when she turned 16? Yeah, I’d like to know that.
What I DO know is useless information that I typically wish I could not know; things I just have no interest in knowing and most often, things I have no business knowing. For example, somehow I know what the grocery store clerk is feeling at that moment, either about her job, her day, her life, the previous customer, and/or worst of all, thinking and feeling about me right then and there. I shouldn’t know that. I don’t need to know that. I sure as hell don’t want to know that. But, I do. I know these things.
I often know when someone is lying to me and that could be helpful or useful, but it’s rarely when that information is valuable. Typically, I know ridiculous stuff like when a co-worker says, I like your hair today that she really doesn’t like it at all. Or when I run into an old acquaintance and he/she asks me specific questions about my past 5 years and I know it’s not at all because said person gives a damn about any of these things, but is simply hoping for some juicy gossip to share the moment he/she walks away from me. However, when I ask my husband if he used a condom when he cheated on me, in order to avoid the humiliation of extensive STD testing if not absolutely necessary. Oh HELL no, I couldn’t always tell if he was lying! Nope…no knowing there in that critical moment.
Nope, make it personal with something serious invested in the knowing of the truth and I have not a freakin bit more knowing than any other ridiculous idiot out there!
I don’t want to know if my boss has decidedly ambiguous feelings about me or conversely, decidedly affectionate beyond appropriate feelings about me. I do NOT WANT TO KNOW these things! I want to be as blissfully ignorant as the majority, thank you very much. It only serves to make me paranoid and have regular conversations in my head where I try to convince myself I don’t really know that that hunch I just got is accurate, I could be so far off the mark. After which, 100 % of the time, my hunch turns out to be accurate. Ughhh…I’m way better off NOT knowing this stuff!
And another thing, after the age of say 30 or so shouldn’t the elementary (adolescent at best) phrase please don’t tell anyone be obsolete? Seriously, do I really have to say to my 50-something year old co-worker/friend that the fact that I blew off some steam and stress last Friday night after work; kicking off my shoes off and dancing at a local bar is not really interesting enough to bother spreading about? Isn’t it just a given for God’s sake? Why in the hell do people waste their breath on such trivials? HELL, that’s not even juicy gossip!
Or when I’m holding back tears for several days from trying to deal with a very serious issue going on with my daughters and I finally talk to someone about them because I just need to get it out of my head and converse with another adult woman about my challenges and fears. Is that REALLY the kind of stuff a woman in her freakin fifties feels compelled to pass on to other co-workers?? SERIOUSLY?? REALLY?!??? WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE???!